Oh, joy. There's going to be a new Mortal Kombat film, just as soon as the legality gets worked out between the studios in charge, there will reportedly be a new film based on the now-ancient videogame. However, don't look for it to be a sequel. What they have in mind is something else entirely. The plan is to 'restart' the franchise a la Batman Begins. Just to, you know, press reset on the whole thing and start again.
We're not sure why the powers-that-be think that a new Mortal Kombat is going to be any better than the old ones, and the heat is certainly not what it was on the franchise, but stranger things have happened. It's possible that something good could come of this whole thing, however unlikely.
Pop tart Britney Spears and boy toy hubby Kevin Federline reached a divorce settlement yesterday.
They have not announced the agreement entails, but we know the session took place at Spears attorney Laura Wasser's office in Century City, California and lasted five hours...five bittersweet hours. They reportedly came to terms on "all issues of their marriage and child custody."
The dynamic duo agreed in January to a temporary joint-custody arrangement that included a three-days-a-week visitation schedule for K-Fed, but he ended u taking over custody of their two children when old’ Brit checked into rehab in February.
A source close to him told MTV News that he's "not about to give them up."
Um....Hey how is it possible that I have empathy for this guy these days, and find him to be the much more tolerable one of the two?
Sniff, sniff...I'll tell you this, I sure am going to miss the wacky antics of those two...
A woman in California was arrested because cops believe she told her two kids to steal a dog from the neighbour.
And we thought kids were bad... damn it.
Oh yes, we started a new category called "Loganworthy." Why? Well, at the Real Canadian Superstore, Logan seems to enjoy the wild and crazy antics of one they call Internet's Huy Dang. This category helps me keep track of what I should be telling him.
Here at Huy's HomeTurf!!!@Home, public transit is a major issue... and over in Calgary where David Couchman lives, transit drivers began a "work-to-rule" program the same day that stupid whore was kicked off a bus because of her perfume.
Bus drivers are continuing to refuse working overtime shifts and as a result, specific bus routes in most parts of Calgary are being reduced or cancelled. For a list of cancelled bus routes, click here.
This is very bad... Calgary Transit needs to do something... and it looks like they are... they have started an aggressive campaign to hire 200 more people as they are short by 120 people.
CTV earlier this week decided to air pre-taped versions of the Juno Awards in Saskatoon in most parts of the country while SOME parts of the country will be able to watch the live version. Why did they decide that? Well, they planned on airing a two-hour Amazing Race special. Well, they reversed that decision... and now, the Junos will start at 5:00 PM Saskatoon time, instead of 7:00 PM as planned. Oh well.
Whoa... this is pointless and stupid... but the Junos are a big deal for ALL of us.
Well, it's Thursday the 29th... and that means the celebrities that will be at the Juno Awards will be coming in today. Let's just hope Airport Drive is good enough for them (ha ha).
The transportation organizer for the event believes everything will run smoothly. This is a good opportunity for those loser cab drivers to make some money as they will be required to transport drunk people between destinations after an evening of partying. riving cab "will be like New Year's Eve for four straight days," said Wayne Soroka, sales manager with United Blueline Taxi, whose stable includes 115 vehicles spread across four companies -- United Cabs, Blueline Taxi, Prestige and Quality Cabs.
Throughout most of my life, I was hoping for the oppurtunity to visit the good old Kwik-E-Mart on The Simpsons.
Well... right now, that is impossible... as the chain of stores do not exist. But, 7-Eleven recently announced that it would convert eleven existing stores to resemble the famous Kwik-E-Mart stores. Now, if only Apu Nahasapeemapetilon were there... that'd be kick-ass.
Following rampant speculation that actress Emma Watson was going to play the part of Yoko Ono and break up the biggest British sensation since the Beatles by refusing to reprise her role as Hermione in the final two Harry Potter films, Warner Bros. has confirmed that all three stars of the series, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Watson have been successfully signed to complete the film series.
It has been reported last week that Watson was considering not returning to the film series that has made her a star, and all of Hollywood seemed aflutter with the news.
So, now everyone can go and take back all the nasty things they said about Miss Watson in the various talkbacks, comment threads, online community boards, or your "working lunches" at Spago and Applebee's.
She's doing the movies, fellas. Time to calm down.
Today, fans and the casually interested will be able to close the book on at least one chapter of the Anna Nicole death mystery. The Broward County Medical Examiner officially ruled that Smith's death was an accidental overdose of around nine different prescription medications, plus a bacterial infection on her buttock and the flu.
The autopsy revealed what many had suspected: Anna had a buttload of different doctors all prescribing her different things without consulting each other and, along with her history of over self-medicating, the toxic soup of pills led to her untimely demise.
Although it answers many questions, the cause of death in no way puts to rest the Smith case, as the paternity of little Dannielynn is still to be determined.
Yes. This is the end of the article. What? Were you expecting a joke? A person dying is no laughing matter. Especially when they're famous for taking their clothes off and part of what contributed to their death was a bacterial infection on her buttock.
Well, Internet's Huy Dang has another crazy story to tell you. In fact, this story is kick-ass enough to be told as a random story to that bastard Logan Chinski over at the Real Canadian Superstore on 8th Street here in Saskatoon.
Anyway, you know that high-quality paper you often print stuff on? Well, next time you print stuff on it, consider what the paper might be made of... a panda's poop. That's right, poop. And apparently, Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand already sells multicolored paper made from the excrement produced by its two resident pandas.
If you live in Saskatoon, you'll notice that many of our roads are in terrible condition. Now, what does it take to get the City to get its crews to repair the roads? The Juno Awards.
But take a look at this: "Some areas we just won't be able to do anything, where there's still water or snow around," Totland said. "Junos or no Junos, we try to get out as early as we can. It just so happens that the Junos happen to be hitting at that time of year when we're gearing up our main spring cleanup operations."
What a bunch of bull-shit. Well, here's the article...
Perez Hilton (you know, that chicken-fucker that's always being sued by celebrities for posting gossip on his blog) is coming to Saskatoon, according to his website. Yes, the man behind PerezHilton.com is coming to Saskatoon and will be at the Junos.
Well, I personally welcome this crazy bastard to our fair and incredibly-beautiful city. Now, if Paris Hilton came to town, I might just leave town.
McDonald's is back to campaigning to get dictionaries to ditch the term "McJob." But this time, they are targeting those loser British people.
Oh, by the way, I know the picture I'm using for this post is incredibly gross... but when you think about it, it is incredibly entertaining at the same time. So, enjoy!
Police brutality kicks ass. Yes, that's right. I happen to enjoy violence, especially when it involves a fat-and-bald police officer beating the crap out of a skinny guy.
In Vancouver, three police officers were caught beating the crap out of an off-duty firefighter and his son. And now, the bastard that got his ass kicked and his son are suing the police force and stuff like that. Okay... maybe that's a lie... it's more like two officers arresting a man that was resisting arrest and the fat-and-bald guy hitting the other guy.
Oh yeah, I found the video that the article it refers to. It's above.
Well... I have more information about the stabbing over at Walter Murray Collegiate yesterday. The suspect and victim have now been named and I am kind of surprised, but not shocked.
The suspect is Emmanuel Maroghi, who formerly attended Mount Royal Collegiate. The "victim" is Gregory Agren. I personally knew Mr. Agren. Nathan Dutnall and I gave him the nickname "Greg Wannabe-black," as he often talked in a form called "ghetto-talk." In fact, we kind of thought he was annoying.
Both the "victim" and "suspect" were in my tenth-grade science class. Again, I hope Zheng Wang wasn't at the scene.
It looks like I'll have to drive more carefully these days... maybe not. I don't know if this will affect you or me for that matter, but by the end of this summer, the intersections of 8th Street/Preston Avenue and Warman Road/51st Street will have red-light cameras.
Oh no! Note: not only does this make a profit for the City, it also reduces violations somehow.
Now, the title may be odd to you, but it's true. A soldier in Iraq was killed about two years ago. But now, his son is born.
How could that be possible? Actually, he left some of his sperm behind for his wife. Now, the son is born... but the sad thing is, they will never see the father.
Loblaw, the company that owns the Real Canadian Superstore and all of these other stores you may have never heard of, is losing money.
That's right, during the last three months of 2006, the Company lost over $700 million. Could this mean the end for my favourite store (Real Canadian Superstore)?
The world is becoming one big billboard and now the virtual worlds (the ones we escape to when we're playing as a hard-boiled, slow motion jumping detective, a level 12 mage, or a young punk from the mean streets who hopes to make a name for himself by becoming the most skilled racer in the underground racing scene) are following suit.
Google sees the future (hell, Google is so rich it probably owns the future) and wants on the bandwagon big time, that's why it announced yesterday on its blog that it was in the process of buying Adscape, the in-game advertising firm.
According to Bernie Stolar, co-founder of Adscape, "Unlike television, gamers can make games their own--customizing their experience in new ways--and we are helping them do that big time." Right, by hawking name brand products.
Wait, that's not fair. Though product placement in films and television can be annoying if it comes across as overly obvious and forceful, how much cooler would games be if they featured real world stuff like actual billboards and vending machines that read Coca-Cola or Pepsi instead of "Genero-Cola?"
There would have to be some sort of balance to avoid lawsuits and parent protests, though. Go ahead and put a name brand soda in a game, go ahead and make said soda a power up that super-enhances the protagonist, but make sure that if he or she drinks too much of it his or her life gauge starts to drop due to dehydration.
Then force players to find and consume a bottle of a name brand bottled water to counteract the effects of cola abuse. Parents won't be able to complain, because you'll be showing the effects of excessive soda consumption and you'll get extra advertising revenue from whatever company makes the over-priced water. It's genius, but why stop there?
Insert Everlast gloves in Wii Boxing, Penn tennis balls in Virtua Tennis 3, Trojan condoms in the God of War sex mini-game. The possibilities are endless!
Google might as well change its name to the U.S. Treasury, because after the Adscape buyout is complete it'll be able to print its own money.
Blockbuster Inc. CEO and Chairman John Antioco has apparently agreed to leave the company by the end of this year.
Part of Blockbuster's press release states the following: "John and the company have reached terms that are clearly in the best interests of the stockholders," said Carl C. Icahn, a member of the Blockbuster Board of Directors. "I and the rest of the board remain committed to working with our dedicated management team to deliver on the company's financial goals for the year and to continue positioning Blockbuster for improved success now and into the future."
Carl Icahn is a fucking liar and probably blackmailed Mr. Antioco into leaving.
You know what website is stupid? Nexopia. Well, a lot of social networking sites suck... except hi5, of course. Why not hi5? Well, hi5 isn't as stupid as Nexopia.
Anyway, four girls in the Sherwood Park-area have been suspended thanks as some of them posted Nexopia profiles under the names of junior high school teachers.
So... what's the hype about mineral water baths these days? Well, in New York state, the "natural mineral water" baths at Saratoga Spa State Park has been diluted with tap water for over 20 years. Holy crap.
Hottie Scarlett Johansson has signed on to star in Cassandra's Dream, her third Woody Allen flick.
This makes Johansson the actress the director has used most frequently since muses Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton. Match Point and Scoop were the duo's other flicks together.
The untitled film, which finds Johansson acting alongside Penelope Cruz and Javier Barde, will shoot in Spain this summer, making it Allen’s fourth consecutive production outside of the United States.
The film will also mark the third time men around the globe have masturbated to a Woody Allen film.
Actress, singer and piece of ass Jessica Simpson is reportedly getting baby fever after watching all these celebrity couples popping out kids left and right and adopting like mad dogs.
The New York Post is reporting that ol' Jessica is getting ready for motherhood by tending to her dogs, who put her into the maternal care-giving mode.
I wonder how soon before John Mayer is out the door now that he's heard this????
Apparently, CNN has learned there's a movie about the boring or interesting life of Anna Nicole Smith. Geez... what the fuck is all this hype about? She was a slut.
Well, David Couchman would enjoy this... what a perv.
How would you feel if you were parodied on that awesome show Family Guy? Well, I for one would feel like celebrating! In fact, I'd even have a party and show that clip of me over and over. But then again, I'm not famous so they're never going to make fun of me on that insanely-awesome television program.
However, Carol Burnett has totally lost her cool because she has decided to sue FOX Broadcasting Company over an April 2006 episode of Family Guy. Well... this proves that OLD PEOPLE SUCK!
You know what the great thing about the Baltimore police force is? They use unnecessary force to arrest people.
Just recently, cops arrested a seven-year-old for having a dirt bike on a sidewalk. That's awesome! In fact, they used a bunch of unnecessary force. I'm definitely going to tell Logan Chinski about this story tonight.
Here's an introduction that would kind of scare you: "Suspected members of extremist groups have signed up as school bus drivers in the United States, counterterror officials said Friday, in a cautionary bulletin to police."
So when you're in the United States, make sure you take a good look at the driver if you see a school bus... it could very well be a terrorist.
Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex Heather Mills has been warned by UK cops to stop using emergency phone number 999 so often. It seems the former model has been dialing up the fuzz all the darn time, complaining of harassment by paparazzi.
"We are having to spend a disproportionate amount of time on one particular person," said Chief Superintendent Kevin Moore of Brighton and Hove Police, noting there was a risk that officers may take her calls less seriously if she contacted them too often.
"We are duty-bound to respond, but clearly people who make lots of calls to the police run the risk of being treated as the little boy who cried wolf," he added.
...or the little one-legged girl that cried wolf and then bilked her rock-star hubby out of zillions...
You can count on Wikipedia to give you all kinds of information. However, it's not necessarily correct information, but information nonetheless. For example, the online encyclopedia falsely reported the death of Sinbad, the comedian from the 80's. When his daughter read the information on the Internet and called her 'dead' father, she was delighted to find out that it wasn't true. Damn it.
Even though we're pretty sure that Sinbad isn't actually dead, considering he's come right out and said so, perhaps what was being reported was the death of the man's career, which has been dead since he started hosting those soul festivals in the Caribbean a few years back.
A judge in the Supreme Court of British Columbia has apologized for saying "fuck" during a trial.
No need to apologize there. If I were him, I would be also be pissed if someone appealed a case on just because they thought the judge made a bad decision. Look... in my opinion, this is how the justice system works... whether you commit a crime or not, cops are going to arrest you for fun. Then, they place charges against you. Then, they take you to court because they like wasting the province's money. Once there, if the judge is pissed, he'll give you life in prison even if you just stole a penny from someone... or if he's bored, he'll just make you do some form of unusually cruel (or very funny) punishment, whatever flips his/her waffle.
Actually, Justice Peter Leask should be a role model!
If you live in a rural area, maybe it's time you moved into the city. Why? Well, your beloved CBC wants to make the rabbit ears (antenna) extinct because a lot of people use satellite television or cable television.
So, I guess this only applies to old people who don't know what cable or satellite television is. Well, if you're living out there and are using satellite television because you can't get cable, move into the city and get cable... because cable rules. And here's living proof.
One of the best engineering schools in India has told its students to stop surfing the Internet. Why? Well, many students either stopped socializing, were late for class or just slept through them.
So now, the school(s) have imposed a restriction on Internet usage. I think this is good. I would probably use the computer less if my employer(s) restricted MY Internet access.
Well, it looks like YouTube is being sued again... for $1 billion. That's right, this time, Viacom is suing the insanely-popular website, claiming that there are thousands of video clips that should not be on the website.
Viacom is that evil company that once owned the insanely-awesome video chain Blockbuster Inc. Well, with the way YouTube is rising in popularity, we gave YouTube its own category on this immaculately-coded blog.
Right now, the fate of YouTube relies on ten-year old law, the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
A small-town spat that began when the mayor of a rural Newfoundland community barred firefighters from drinking on the job has erupted into fierce protests from locals demanding his resignation.
Nearly a year after putting an end to the decades-old practice, Mayor Robert Elliott has become persona non Grata in this picturesque community of 600.
Damn it... a man who cut off his electronic ankle bracelet to appear on The Jerry Springer Show is only getting a $50,000 bail. Now, you might be thinking that's a lot.
But if you thought a bail turns your sentence into a fine, you're way off. Bail is posted when the judge thinks you will appear at your sentenced court appearance date. But, if you fail to show up, you forfeit that amount.
Ever notice that The Simpsons takes place in Springfield... but we never know which state?! Well, in a strange twist, a bunch of cities named Springfield down in the U.S. are competing against each other so that they can host the premiere of the movie. So as you can see, Los Angeles isn't good enough for Matt Groening.
Oh yes, we started a new category to this blog specifically for the movie.
A new law in France makes it a crime that is punishable by up to five years in prison for anyone who is not a professional journalist to film real-world violence and distribute the images on the Internet.
According to reports, McDonald's has a bigger burger for $3.99 called "The Third Pounder." Apparently, it's only available at 600 restaurants within California.
A lot of older game-cats wax nostalgic about the Atari 2600 or Intellivision, but if you were a serious gamer back in the days, you had a Commodore 64. The C64 was the premiere gaming PC of the '80s, and now it's making a comeback in a new form: Gaming specific, high-end PCs branded with the beloved Commodore name.
"Twenty-five years ago, Commodore launched the best selling personal computer of the late 20th Century, the C64, and defined the early computer games experience for millions of people worldwide," said Bala Keilman, CEO for Commodore Gaming. "We are privileged and excited to bring the Commodore brand back to the gaming community and mark a new chapter in its history with this exceptional machine. We're sure that it will deliver what gamers need and want."
If you do nothing else today, watch this Commodore commercial, circa 1982:
Microsoft, also known as the world's Anti-Piracy Champion, is slashing out at Google for what it claims are abuses of the phrase "fair use" in regard to its Google Book Search engine.
Microsoft associate general counsel Thomas Rubin is set to make these accusations in a speech for the Association of American Publishers today. Rubin claims that Google places ads on their book search pages as well as on the pages containing scanned copies of copyrighted works. Microsoft is claiming that this practice violates the terms of "fair use" as Google is making a profit on someone else's intellectual property.
This, of course, has nothing to do with Microsoft launching their own "virtual library" search engine, entitled Microsoft's Live Search Books.
Also, for those of you unfamiliar with Copyright Law, feel free to peruse the 2004 Advanced Seminar on Copyright Law by Richard Danney, courtesy of Google Books.
A man called police to tell them he had trouble breaking into a church and also invited the cops back to his house, and told them they'd find a lot more drugs inside his home.
Cops later arrested him. Note: the picture of Huy Dang is for a dramatic effect because we all know he'll end up in prison at some point.
Faded pop star Michael Jackson still has some pull... in other countries. Jacko is charging upwards of $3,500 per person for 30 a second meet and greet, says Billboard.
For instance, at a Japanese VIP party, guests paid that amount to mingle with Jackson and spend half a minute or so of "exclusive face time" and get a photo with the child molester...er, singer. And that doesn't even get you a freaking song!
That's unbelievable. ..
I hear that for another $2,000 he'll feel up your toddler too. But not girls...
[Oh my, did I just say that? Kidding, of course...]
As you well know, the word 'dancing' is Latin for "people who celebrate their celebrity through the ritual of movement." The Incas danced to scare away evil spirits, and the Spanish still dance out of fear of losing their land to the government. Oh, and John Ratzenberger will join Dancing With the Stars. Ratzenberger, as you well know, was the postman Cliff Claven on Cheers, which was a very popular television show in the '80s and '90s.
He will be replacing Vincent Pastore, who played Big Pussy on The Sopranos, but who had to drop out for health reasons. Did you know, by the way, that the ancient Greeks suffered from gout, because of all the rich food they ate? And there was a rudimentary system of language that they developed to speak with their goats, to reassure them that the Aegean Sea wouldn't swallow them whole.
In a move that exposes Best Buy as a money grubbing machine, George Gombossy, the Consumer Watchdog for the Hartford Courant, recently reported that Best Buy has two websites. The first is BestBuy.com, while the other is a secret website or intra-store web site being used inside the Best Buy stores that fixes prices higher than they appear as advertised.
Isn't that a crapper?!
At first Best Buy declined to comment on this intra-store web site, but after much pressure from both Gombossy and Connecticut state investigators, Best Buy's company spokesperson Justin Barber went on the record stating that they do in fact have an intra-store web site and that their "intention is to provide the best price to our customers, which is why we have a price-match policy in place."
Well, it sounds like the price-match is only applicable if they like the price they themselves want you to match.
Barber tried to explain himself and Best Buy's policy by saying that they have an "intra-store web site in place to support store operations (including products and pricing)," and that they are reminding their "employees how to access the external BestBuy.com web site to ensure customers are receiving the best possible product price."
Uh, sure they are...
As this story unfolds, there will be a lot of talk of lawsuits as we all discover something we bought at Best Buy was jacked up by some overeager Best Buy employee.
Burglars have struck twice at the Guyandotte United Methodist Church but the second time they may have remembered that commandment, the one that goes, "Thou shalt not steal."
A group of burglars stole stuff from a church twice but they returned to return the equipment they stole the second time.
Ever receive a cheque from God? They're hard to cash aren't they? In fact, when you cash his cheques, you can even get arrested and charged for bank fraud and face time in prison.
A 21-year-old dude in Indiana was charged for attempting to cash two cheques "from God."
Apparently, in the city of Fostoria, Ohio, the police chief and the police dog went to college and graduated. The issue gives "one pause, if not paws, for concern" about what it takes to get a degree from the school, based in the Caribbean, Gene Murray wrote Monday in a motion seeking to have the dog introduced as evidence. Chief John McGuire and Rocko - listed as John I. Rocko on his diploma - are graduates of Concordia College and University, according to copies of diplomas that are part of Murray's motion.
That's whacked, yo. Note: "ghetto" talk for general effect.
There are three more mouths to feed at the Monson Ranch north of this city. Huey, Dewey, and Louie -- identical triplet bull calves -- were born on Feb. 5.
A college student no longer faces criminal charges of disorderly conduct after cursing at a local airport.
Elizabeth Venable, 26, was cited for using expletives near small children last summer.
She then sued the county in U.S. court, alleging free speech violations. The Orange County District Attorney's office dropped the charges Wednesday "in the interest of justice," said spokeswoman Susan Kang Schroeder.
Prepare for the greatest news of this or any other day: Cosmologist and theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is going for a zero-gravity plane flight, and later into space!
Hawking, the genius behind A Brief History of Time, is taking the zero-G plunge (ha ha) in April on a plane operated by Zero Gravity Corporation, a Fort Lauderdale, FL-based space tourism and entertainment company at the Kennedy Space Centre.
"As someone who has studied gravity and black holes all of my life, I am excited to experience first hand weightlessness and a zero-gravity environment," Hawking said in a statement.
That's not all, though. Hawking is also destined to be one of the first civilians to take a ride into space through Richa had Branson's private space company, Virgin Galactic, when it gets off the ground (ha ha) sometime after 2009.
Anna Nicole Smith will be buried in a custom-made gown next to her 20-year-old son following an "over the top" memorial service with a tightly controlled guest list, said a friend helping to organize the memorial.
The memorial service, with about 300 guests at an undisclosed church, will feature large amounts of pink flowers, her favorite color, and singing from a well-known performer whose name organizers aren't ready to disclose, said the friend, Patrik Simpson of Beverly Hills, California.
This is good. Anna Nicole Smith DESERVES to be remembered like this. She was hot.
Oh, joy. There's going to be a new Mortal Kombat film, just as soon as the legality gets worked out between the studios in charge, there will reportedly be a new film based on the now-ancient videogame. However, don't look for it to be a sequel. What they have in mind is something else entirely. The plan is to 'restart' the franchise a la Batman Begins. Just to, you know, press reset on the whole thing and start again.
Pop tart Britney Spears and boy toy hubby Kevin Federline reached a divorce settlement yesterday.
A woman in California was arrested because cops believe she told her two kids to steal a dog from the neighbour.
Here at Huy's HomeTurf!!!@Home, public transit is a major issue... and over in Calgary where David Couchman lives, transit drivers began a "work-to-rule" program the same day that stupid whore was 
A cameraman was caught capturing images of people's feet using a video-camera.
CTV earlier this week decided to air pre-taped versions of the Juno Awards in Saskatoon in most parts of the country while SOME parts of the country will be able to watch the live version. Why did they decide that? Well, they planned on airing a two-hour 
Eddie Griffin is my hero now...
Throughout most of my life, I was hoping for the oppurtunity to visit the good old Kwik-E-Mart on The Simpsons.
Following rampant speculation that actress Emma Watson was going to play the part of Yoko Ono and break up the biggest British sensation since the Beatles by refusing to reprise her role as Hermione in the final two Harry Potter films, Warner Bros. has confirmed that all three stars of the series, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Watson have been successfully signed to complete the film series.
Today, fans and the casually interested will be able to close the book on at least one chapter of the Anna Nicole death mystery. The Broward County Medical Examiner officially ruled that Smith's death was an accidental overdose of around nine different prescription medications, plus a bacterial infection on her buttock and the flu.
Well, Internet's Huy Dang has another crazy story to tell you. In fact, this story is kick-ass enough to be told as a random story to that bastard Logan Chinski over at the Real Canadian Superstore on 8th Street here in Saskatoon.
A B.C. man's film that was posted on YouTube is incredibly popular.
Perez Hilton (you know, that chicken-fucker that's always being sued by celebrities for posting gossip on his blog) is coming to Saskatoon, according to his website. Yes, the man behind PerezHilton.com is coming to Saskatoon and will be at the Junos.
A very young man has shot his father. Now, this might be funny... but also dangerous.
If you thought teachers were boring... it's probably because they were busy making babies.
McDonald's is back to campaigning to get dictionaries to ditch the term "McJob." But this time, they are targeting those loser British people.
Well... I have more information about the stabbing over at Walter Murray Collegiate yesterday. The suspect and victim have now been named and I am kind of surprised, but not shocked.
It looks like I'll have to drive more carefully these days... maybe not. I don't know if this will affect you or me for that matter, but by the end of this summer, the intersections of 8th Street/Preston Avenue and Warman Road/51st Street will have red-light cameras.
Now, the title may be odd to you, but it's true. A soldier in Iraq was killed about two years ago. But now, his son is born.
Loblaw, the company that owns the Real Canadian Superstore and all of these other stores you may have never heard of, is losing money.
The world is becoming one big billboard and now the virtual worlds (the ones we escape to when we're playing as a hard-boiled, slow motion jumping detective, a level 12 mage, or a young punk from the mean streets who hopes to make a name for himself by becoming the most skilled racer in the underground racing scene) are following suit.
Blockbuster Inc. CEO and Chairman John Antioco has apparently agreed to leave the company by the end of this year.
You know what website is stupid? Nexopia. Well, a lot of social networking sites suck... except hi5, of course. Why not hi5? Well, hi5 isn't as stupid as Nexopia.
So... what's the hype about mineral water baths these days? Well, in New York state, the "natural mineral water" baths at Saratoga Spa State Park has been diluted with tap water for over 20 years. Holy crap.
Hottie Scarlett Johansson has signed on to star in 
Actress, singer and piece of ass Jessica Simpson is reportedly getting baby fever after watching all these celebrity couples popping out kids left and right and adopting like mad dogs.
How would you feel if you were parodied on that awesome show Family Guy? Well, I for one would feel like celebrating! In fact, I'd even have a party and show that clip of me over and over. But then again, I'm not famous so they're never going to make fun of me on that insanely-awesome television program.
You know what the great thing about the Baltimore police force is? They use unnecessary force to arrest people.
Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex Heather Mills has been warned by UK cops to stop using emergency phone number 999 so often. It seems the former model has been dialing up the fuzz all the darn time, complaining of harassment by paparazzi.
You can count on Wikipedia to give you all kinds of information. However, it's not necessarily correct information, but information nonetheless. For example, the online encyclopedia falsely reported the death of Sinbad, the comedian from the 80's. When his daughter read the information on the Internet and called her 'dead' father, she was delighted to find out that it wasn't true. Damn it.
A judge in the Supreme Court of British Columbia has apologized for saying "fuck" during a trial.
If you live in a rural area, maybe it's time you moved into the city. Why? Well, your beloved CBC wants to make the rabbit ears (antenna) extinct because a lot of people use satellite television or cable television.
One of the best engineering schools in India has told its students to stop surfing the Internet. Why? Well, many students either stopped socializing, were late for class or just slept through them.
Well, it looks like YouTube is being sued again... for $1 billion. That's right, this time, Viacom is suing the insanely-popular website, claiming that there are thousands of video clips that should not be on the website.
A small-town spat that began when the mayor of a rural Newfoundland community barred firefighters from drinking on the job has erupted into fierce protests from locals demanding his resignation.
Damn it... a man who cut off his electronic ankle bracelet to appear on 
Ever notice that The Simpsons takes place in Springfield... but we never know which state?! Well, in a strange twist, a bunch of cities named Springfield down in the U.S. are competing against each other so that they can host the premiere of the movie. So as you can see, Los Angeles isn't good enough for Matt Groening.
A new law in France makes it a crime that is punishable by up to five years in prison for anyone who is not a professional journalist to film real-world violence and distribute the images on the Internet.
According to reports, McDonald's has a bigger burger for $3.99 called "The Third Pounder." Apparently, it's only available at 600 restaurants within California.
A lot of older game-cats wax nostalgic about the Atari 2600 or Intellivision, but if you were a serious gamer back in the days, you had a Commodore 64. The C64 was the premiere gaming PC of the '80s, and now it's making a comeback in a new form: Gaming specific, high-end PCs branded with the beloved Commodore name.
Microsoft, also known as the world's Anti-Piracy Champion, is slashing out at Google for what it claims are abuses of the phrase "fair use" in regard to its Google Book Search engine.
Talk about criminals being stupid these days...
Faded pop star Michael Jackson still has some pull... in other countries. Jacko is charging upwards of $3,500 per person for 30 a second meet and greet, says Billboard.
As you well know, the word 'dancing' is Latin for "people who celebrate their celebrity through the ritual of movement." The Incas danced to scare away evil spirits, and the Spanish still dance out of fear of losing their land to the government. Oh, and John Ratzenberger will join Dancing With the Stars. Ratzenberger, as you well know, was the postman Cliff Claven on Cheers, which was a very popular television show in the '80s and '90s.
Sometimes what you see is not what you get...
Burglars have struck twice at the Guyandotte United Methodist Church but the second time they may have remembered that commandment, the one that goes, "Thou shalt not steal."
Ever receive a cheque from God? They're hard to cash aren't they? In fact, when you cash his cheques, you can even get arrested and charged for bank fraud and face time in prison.
Ever rob a bank and face the misfortune of being robbed yourself? I'm sure that as a bank robber, that would rarely happen to you.
Blockbuster is planning to buy the rest of Movielink, a movie-download service.
Apparently, in the city of Fostoria, Ohio, the police chief and the police dog went to college and graduated. The issue gives "one pause, if not paws, for concern" about what it takes to get a degree from the school, based in the Caribbean, Gene Murray wrote Monday in a motion seeking to have the dog introduced as evidence. Chief John McGuire and Rocko - listed as John I. Rocko on his diploma - are graduates of Concordia College and University, according to copies of diplomas that are part of Murray's motion.
Well, you already know I work at the Real Canadian Superstore. And I know the code for some bags of potatoes by heart...
There are three more mouths to feed at the Monson Ranch north of this city. Huey, Dewey, and Louie -- identical triplet bull calves -- were born on Feb. 5.
Don't go to New York. Chances are, the restaurants will have rats in them.
A college student no longer faces criminal charges of disorderly conduct after cursing at a local airport.
Prepare for the greatest news of this or any other day: Cosmologist and theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is going for a zero-gravity plane flight, and later into space!
